Germany is nearing closer and closer, and with it coming so close, some thoughts have kind of accumulated in my mind. While driving home from school last Friday, I was thinking about how different it's going to be:
Here is the thing about Gardner. We have a love/hate relationship. The bad thing about Gardner is that it's so small. It's not big, and it holds no opportunities to move on. People who live in Gardner, live there for the rest of their lives until death. It's like a circle. You can't get out. You just...I don't know, stay there. No escape. But the good thing about Gardner, is that it's familiar. Something I will be lacking completely next year. I have my mom, and thirty minutes away, my mumoo, dadoo, emo, drueby, aunt sash, uncle steve, aunt dee dee, kaden, kamryn, kaleb, and krysten. And then I have my dad and my siblings.
I am going to be thrust into a world where there is nothing familiar, and nothing I can grasp onto. I'm so used to running to my family whenever something doesn't go my way, and they just fix it. I'll have to depend on myself next year, and I have only seldom had to do that before.
Another worry of mine my denial of the word "No."
I have never had anyone say "No" to me before. Actually, I take that back. I have. Not often, but I have. But the thing is, I am ALWAYS able to convince them to say "Yes" in the end. My mom won't be there next year to tell me "Yes." It will be just me, making my own decisions.
Please, please don't take this post as a negative one. I am still SO unbelievably happy to be going, and wouldn't change my mind for the world. I'm simply just posting some feelings and concerns. Nothing big. :)
The most important thing? I will be going to GERMANY. My dream. So, I'm not worried in the least bit. We all have to move on in our lives, I'm just doing it sooner:)
xoxo, shelby<3
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